Rocky Soil

February 1998

On or about January 29, 1998 I received word my younger sister, Brenda had given birth to a boy, Cameron Michael Fischer. I was an uncle. That life was so far from me, I don't remember getting the word. It was the baby that freed me from my awful marriage (Miimii had told me if my sister ever got pregnant she'd divorce me) so I am grateful for that but meanwhile back in Korea I thought I was falling in love for the first time. I had no interest in anything else

On February 6th, Ha and I had a turning point in our relationship. Ha, who was usually online every night (and most of the day), disappeared for many days.

I started to wonder where she'd gone. As the days drew on and I didn't see her, I started missing her terribly. She showed up on the 6th and I was so excited to see her. I asked where she'd been and she told me what she'd done that week, and in the midst of it all she said she'd had a one-night stand. When I heard that my heart dropped to the floor. She could tell I was shocked and deeply hurt. I couldn't feel my legs. We chatted for over six hours until she thought I was okay. It was a turning point because we got deeply personal in that chat. At that point, my feelings were going crazy, and I told her I thought I loved her. She didn't respond in kind, but she said she was at a decision point on her feelings and only time would tell. I realized that if I didn't let her know, she may go to another for companionship.
I didn't bring a single photo of myself or anyone else to Korea. When I travelled, I'd sometimes bring more than 100 photos of my wife, but after the separation I 'flushed' my life. I left all the memories in Virginia, so when I met Ha I began shooting photos of myself to send her. These are some of those--this is my outfit I wore to the Halloween party in Virginia in 1997. I liked it. It felt good.

I'm ready at this moment to take my vows>>>